“Why do I always have the feeling I can completely trust you with everything?”, my friend Anna asked me the other day. I started joking, telling her that it’s all because I call her Anna in these blog posts, so at least I don’t share her every move openly with the rest of the world. She laughed, however forced me in a friendly way to take the conversation seriously. I did. Yet how could she expect me to explain this? It took a while until I managed to respond. “Well, Shirley Temple (yep, for the newbie’s amongst my readers: I give all of my friends nicknames) stated a while ago that she finds it highly unusual that I don’t judge, maybe that’s a clue.” Within seconds Anna shouted out pretty loud: “That’s it, that’s it! That makes me feel so safe!” I felt a slight shock. Is it really that exceptional?

From that point on, she couldn’t stop talking about how different that is. As everybody always tries to shuffle you up with their so called great advices, while in reality they just want to push their own opinions, ideas, wishes, demands, expectations etc. into your mind. Now what do I do differently according to Anna? We started analyzing and came up with answers that made perfect sense. Somehow I manage to listen, absorb and give advice based upon her very own thoughts. As she would say ‘I guided her to her inner voice’. And even if that inner voice would say she needs to move to Alaska, live with 3 guys, dance naked in the snow and have a whale as a pet, I – according to Anna-, would even encourage that, as long as it makes her happy. Wow, eye-opener! As I knew she was right. Now here’s where it actually struck me… Somehow along the road I had concluded, that caring & loving others means letting them completely free. Free to be who they are, free to find out what makes them happy, not what I think that would be right, good or whatever emotion involved.

Yep, this is a tricky one, I agree! Because there are two ways of doing this, yet it takes a full strip down of the ‘ego’ to do it in a genuine, honest way. Let’s be fully honest here: what is your true reason to tell someone how he or she should handle things? Advice is good, but where do we cross the border of shuffling up our opinions, even up to the point that we get upset when they don’t listen? Even worse, waiting for the perfect moment to see them make a ‘mistake’ just so we can say, “You see, I told you so!”

Now in my opinion, but please correct me if I’m wrong, it’s all about learning how to love others unconditionally. Let them make their own choices, even mistakes if you like to see it that way and don’t force them to do anything your way, unless of course they are truly harming themselves or others with ‘dangerous’ actions (such as drug/alcohol abuse and so on). As none of us have any other good reason to try to control somebody life, just because we enjoy that.

Well how do you give advises in a ‘good’ way? For me it works best to listen carefully, ask the right questions, so the friend involved can dig a bit deeper into him or herself and draw conclusions from there on. Switch off your own personal emotions and help them ‘peel off’ the layers that cover the genuine emotions attached to the subject they are dealing with. Of course you can tell them how you would do things, yet it feels so much better if you are able to leave them figure out what parts of that strategy works best for them…One thing I always do is truly put myself in the other person’s shoes and it only takes me a few minutes to conclude that I wouldn’t want to be stuffed up with talks starting with “You should”. Personally I prefer “You might want to look at this situation from this and this point…” But hey, this post wouldn’t be what it should be if I told you what to do, so it’s all up to you ;-)! 

C’est tout! Promise to see you back sooner for another joy-ride, as I’ve been absent for a little to long due to busy business…More about that in the next post.

For now, remember just one more thing: 

“Unconditional love for others is love without rules or regulations, it goes way beyond the ego, as it derives from the soul.”

P.s.: love my quotes? We made them available as stickers! Get them now at www.soloveit.com

Where do I begin? That was the first question to pop up in my head when I started thinking of composing this new post. As so many things are happening right now, that it’s hard to decide what matters most. Each facet being equally interesting, but any how I feel the need to protect you from a spontaneous dizziness due to a rollercoaster ride into my bubbly world ;-)

It all started months ago, when we decided that the new So PR website should finally be made. Our original one was fun, but hey, it did have a vintage feel to it. What seemed utracool 7 years ago, by now had outgrown its coolness. Having decided upon the look and feel it should have, partly thanks to the great design team of Formlab, we needed to start building the ‘puzzle’.

One of the objectives we had, was the fact that it should be a ‘lively’ site, which include the ability for us to change its content whenever we feel like it. Another objective was the So Shop! As people so often ask us for our finds (our showroom is filled with inspirational items such as books, gadgets, etc. I buy wherever I go), we thought it to be fun to offer limited editions of these ‘finds’ along with some of our own products. I’ll get back to those in a minute.

On top, both Thijs & myself have our blogs, which should be connected. But having said that, our team has the weekly ILFN Photo diary, yet no blog to present themselves. So, I made them “The World of So”. Great idea, yet picture this: at a certain point I catch myself behind the computer working on 3 websites at the same time: the new So PR site, the new So team blog & oh, yes we have a “Where It’s a Radler Meets Fashion” contest running, for which I have to change the content of the teams on a daily basis. Help! What had happened to this PR-girl that she became a website-wizard all of a sudden?!  I kept asking myself that question

It got ‘worse’ as in between, life as usual continued. So there were press releases to be written, meetings to attend, events to be organised and emails to be answered… I can admit, keeping your head cool at a time like this, is a challenge! And it all needed to be done before August 7^th, because that would be the day to launch our new website to a selected group of editors in chief. Well, not just that, as at the same time we would introduce our brand new product So Choco to them in a luxurious “Alice in Wonderland” styled breakfast setting.

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Thought we had it all by now? Nope, but you know what? The more things kept popping up, the more energy you get! That is at least if you set your mind to taking the ‘right’ attitude. In this particular scenario the word ‘right’ can be interpreted in two ways: as it’s very advisable to let your ‘right’ brain part rule. Curious what I mean? Feel free to read my earlier post on Left versus Right. The other job at hand was to kill the little voice. Now I’m no violent person and I have specific rules on killing. As I only allow myself to kill a bug when it forms an actual threat to my physical well-being and even than I do feel bad (yep, I confess being slightly weird for I tend to say sorry to a mosquito, but let’s keep that our secret please). However, I sure enjoying killing that little voice. We all know it: it’s that stupid annoying little bugger that says stuff like “you are never going to make it on time”, “you can’t do it” and more such non-sense.

I still don’t have a clue how or when that annoying little monster got into our heads. All I know is that he or she is our own worst enemy. And that the only way to get rid of that bastard (pardon me my bad language), is to tell him or her to shut up. Now it took me years to find that plague, but I got to tell you, once you discover its true identity, you will find a way to shut it up. Yep, it is a very talkative monster, so you might find yourself having to shut it up several times a day. Don’t worry, for the more often you tell him/her off, that bugging annoyance will get more and more silent. Takes a while, but it’s worth it! That I guarantee you! Well having said that, by now you know I did succeed in getting it all done and I’m already moving on to the next stage. The latest adventures? Well let me tell you: they are exciting! But let’s keep them for a new post, otherwise I might run out of things to share (ok, I admit: you all know that is not true).

C’est tout! Looking forward to see you back soon for another relaxing rollercoaster ride throughout the amusement park I tend to call my life…

For now remember just one more thing:

“Change your look at life and life will change its look at you!”

Made you curious? Take a look at the new So PR website here, or go directly to the new So Love It shop (where you will find our So Choco, amongst many other cool items) by clicking here, discover It's a Radler here & vote for your favorite team & last but certainly not least: get to know my team in The World of So!

It’s the one word that keeps popping up during Fashion Week’s all over the planet…The F-word. Well it could be about Fun, Fabulous or Fashion, yet the whole fashion world knows what it stands for: the Front Row!

After having been responsible for the PR of more fashion shows than I can count, I can assure you that the front row issue is something hardly comparable to anything else.

So what is the issue? Well, let me tell you: it’s more than one single issue. First of all there is the subject of “Who is on the front row?”, secondly “Who isn’t?” and finally “Who should have been there?”. Oh, and I almost forget the ego-boost question “Why wasn’t I on the front row?”, quickly followed by the moving-uppers silently saying, “How do I get to the front row?”.

Time and time I’ve been involved with the giant puzzle, unbeatable by the most complex Sudoku you can ever imagine. As once you’ve got the puzzle solved – or so you think -, at the very last minute you get RSVP’s and cancellation, making your challenge to change the whole plan, almost impossible. Worst of all, once the ‘seating’ starts, there are always people who don’t show up, while others take a seat at a place that is not supposed to be theirs. Welcome to the PR-jungle ;-)!

Secretly I have to admit, that I somehow enjoy the stressy vibe of it. Maybe because by now it is ‘business as usual’… or maybe because I kind of enjoy solving puzzles. However, being a spectator makes it just as much enjoyable. While I’m already sitting, I love to watch the show before the show. As the seating concept is nine out of ten times truly fascinating. It is always that “will it fit” vibe, that makes it almost just as exciting as watching a detective series expecting the inspector to catch the killer any minute now ;-)!

Now I can imagine that everyone who is not within the fashion industry wonders how this whole process works… Well the basics are very simple: fashion directors, top stylists, editor’s in chief and newspapers get front row seats. Yet, there are celebrities too. Plus the eternal question: how many seats do you have at the front row? As every show is different. Additionally: what to do with the +1. As a lot of people tend to take a friend or assistant along. So never mind how many ‘rules’ you apply to the seating system: you are bound to get in trouble anyway! And how about the new trend of bloggers on the front row? Should you, and if so: who? Already getting a headache by the very thought of it? Don’t! As somehow along the line these things seem to solve themselves. That is, if you’re a professional!

Now what is so magical about the front row? Originally it’s all about the view. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course status became part of it, but when you look at it from a PR point of view, the professionals need to see the designs well enough to ‘judge’ them by the way they are made. Believe me, on the 4^th, 5^th or 6^th row, people still have a pretty good view, yet they can’t see the smaller details such as fine stitching, technical design structures, exact material etc.

Fascinated? I can imagine, as it is a fascinating world out there around the catwalk. My personal point of view? Of course I’m honoured to have had the pleasure to be on the front row pretty often, yet I loved the 2^nd and 3^rd row shows just as much as it is all about the designer, not about me! Do I feel better or more successful depending o the seat I get? No, I don’t! As once again: it’s all about the benefits of the designer, so as long as the ones who matter most are at the ‘right’ seats, I’m fine with whatever seat I get.

Does it bug me when I see people making a fuzz about their seats? In all honesty: if they are not close realtives of designer, nor belong to the group of fashion directors, top stylists, editor’s in chief, fashion influencers, top designers, newspapers editors, fashion journalists, celebrities or top bloggers…it does, as at that point you make your ego more important than the benefits of the designer who worked for months, often has put all his or her blood, sweat, tears, money, creativity and time into a collection, only to get the publicity he or she needs in order to get their brand even more established…

C’est tout! Hope to see you back soon within the eternal jungle I tend to call my life…

For now, remember just one more thing:

“Success never thrives from status, it comes from within the very core of who you are and what you stand for.”

Photocredits: Mimi Berlin. Illustrations: Gladys Perint Palmer.

More and more we hear terms such as 'girl power', 'power women', 'power diva' etc. And yes, I admit to use them too in some of the texts I write. Yet on a personal level, I sometimes truly regret the way they are being interpreted. Why? Because being strong does not imply you should be bitchy and power certainly does not make you a better person. It is actually the other way around: being bitchy is a sign of weakness, use of power is lack of strength.

Do you follow were I'm heading? In my eyes Mother Theresa was the perfect example of a 'power woman'. Someone who strongly followed her believes, followed her dreams and lived her ideals. And yes, if you would read all those "Real men love bitches" - or whatever the name those so called 'girl power' books have -, you will probably get to the conclusion that Mother Theresa was a 'doormat'. As she gave her life to others, shared love without taking and stayed true to her pure giving nature. No, I'm not encouraging you to become saints, like her, but I would love to encourage you to be a powerful wo(man) with a kind heart.

As that in my humble opinion is the new standard of business and life in general. And to all you guys out there, the message is the same, as I truly believe that humans are humans and it is about time to let go of those ridiculous old fashion rules of men versus women. Wake up: we are all humans!

It's engraved deep within the DNA of our company: treat everyone with equal respect! Be kind out of kindness, don't fake it and no one has a respectable reason to be 'arrogant'. No matter whether you are believed to be the greatest designer the planet has ever known, the best PR in the world or the prettiest girl in high school, we are all humans. And looking down on others is a sign of weakness. It simply means you need that in order to feel better about yourself. Ouchhh!

So rather than talking about that ugly looking neighbor, or that woman in the office whose hair looks bad, or that one 'friend' you hang out with but is not living his life the way you like it, go waste that precious time on improving yourself. Because once you start comparing, positive or negative, you lose valuable time on developing yourself, creating your own goals & moving upwards in the world.

Oh yes, Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt was definitely someone I would call a 'power girl'. She did not let her rotten childhood get to her, instead she decided to make a change: she has spent her whole life fighting for civil rights and equality. One of those great examples of wo(men) who 'use' the power they achieve to make this world a better place. Instead of looking down at people, or victimizing themselves due to the circumstances they grew up in, they grab their personalities and make their 'pains' a tool to make a difference. Now what if you live an average life, no deep sorrow? Well all the more reason to have the strength to be a good, nice, respectable person!

Now why am I saying all this? Because the world I live in is not as most people believe it to be. Don't believe those back stabbing, cat fighting movies you see about the fashion or pr world. They are a lie. Yes, everywhere in every 'circle' one operates in, you might find people who abuse power, people who look down on others and so on. But does that mean you have to become one of them? How about treating people just the way you like to be treated, no matter how they treat you? Wouldn't that be setting the perfect example? If they are dishonest or nasty, is that a reason for you to do the same? Should you 'lower' yourself to such a level? Stop wasting your time, as all that negative energy is going to hold you back from your true goals and in business it sure isn't going to get you anywhere (or at least not where you wish to go!).

Instead make it your mission to set an example for others, not because it gives you power, but simply because that is the kind of person you wish to be. And no, I am not talking about becoming a fashion icon, feel free to do so if you wish, but if you do: make sure that behind those beautiful clothes lays a beautiful you...

Why not help someone this week with getting his or her goals set? Not because they will be thankful to you, but simply because you can. As that to me is the secret behind our work: I love it so much because it makes us able to help others achieve their goals! And seeing that happen is the best reward thinkable!

C'est tout! See you back tomorrow for a brand new walk along the endless beach I call my life...

For now, just remember one more thing:

"Fashion is the art of translating life into clothing"

It is returning topic in my life: younger people asking me how they can make their dreams come true. And although I do my utmost to give them the best possible personal measure-made answers, there are a few aspects that seem to count for all. Starting with: make your dream a concrete one! As one too many times the answer to my question on what their dream is, will be something vague such as ‘to be successful’, ‘to be known for my talents’ or ‘to work at Vogue’. Yes great, but what exactly do you want? As success, in my opinion, is something that takes a clear goal, a realistic view on your talents and a lot of hard work. Success is not a job, it is the result of working as hard as you can, being focused and gathering all the possible knowledge along the road.

Being fabulous does not pay your rent… Or you must be that one out of billions who becomes rich for being simply fabulous, but let’s face it, it takes shiploads of daddy’s money to achieve that. So what does? Passion for every little thing you do! I remember how at the age of 18, a very smart woman – who happened to be the owner of several high-end boutique hotels - once told me and my fellow students that no one can ever run a 5-star hotel without knowing what it is like to be a chamber maid. And she was damn right!

Even nowadays when I tell our team that in the very beginning I did all the labeling of collections myself, that we had no dishwasher(s) and how sometimes I was so tired that I even forgot to stop the water running, resulting in cleaning the whole kitchen floor with half open eyes, while having to start again at 7’o clock the next morning, they look at me with a question mark on their faces. But that is reality! And we are lucky enough that all that has changed and our team is a bunch of fabulous die-hards, who never look at the clock and are willing to give it all. And yes, we do have two dishwashing machines now :-)

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Coming back to where I started: it takes a lot of will power and a clear goal to get there. Now when I say a clear goal, I don’t mean that you have to make a full agenda to get there. What you should to do is to make your dream more concrete. My goal was to set up a PR-agency that was a service focused as can be, innovative and most of all: I had to love my work. No, not every moment of the day, but in the bigger picture, yes! I never needed – and still don’t – a Porsche, to retire at the Bahamas, six Birkin bags, fame, status, wealth… All I wanted – and still do – is to enjoy my work. As that is the place that we spend most of the time.

On top of that I like to do things as good as I can. So in order to achieve that, I need to make sure that I know what I’m doing. And trust me on this one: I do! Whether it is fashion, PR, or my work as a free-lance journalist (tell you about that one in another blog to come), I stay informed. Now that, again, is a returning topic, as once more I hear one too many times “I want to be in fashion and I know all about fashion, because I love shopping!”

Well my darlings, as my close friend Watson (yes, it is a nickname for one of my dearest friends, let’s keep it that way) would say: “Then go shopping!”. And he is right! For shopping does not make you an expert!

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What does? Well if fashion is your thing, dive into it, make yourself an expert. Learn who Marlene Dietrich was, know the works of Richard Avedon, recognize the Mary Quant flower, stop thinking that New Look is the name of a fashion store around the corner and get your facts straight. Do you know the different hairstyles of the past? Can you name at least 15 fashion icons, photographers, designers and top models from the last 100 years? Could you instantly feel the difference between polyester and a crêpe Georgette?

Fashion is not about the way you look, it is a profession that requires skills. Now I am very much aware of the fact that I’m known to positively inspire, and I sure want to do so. Let this be your inspiration, let it hunger you for knowledge, let it inspire you to take the road you wish to walk on during the coming years, be that outstanding person who wants to make the most of it, feel the passion and let it burn! You can do it! And if after all the above you decide to become a fire fighter, a teacher or a dog walker, remember: life is not about the status or the fame, it is about who you are as a person and what truly makes your inner-fire burning, for that is what matters most!

C’est tout! See you back tomorrow for another dive into the endless open sea I call my life…

For now, remember just one thing:

“A life lived with passion, is a life lived in joy”